can i even come back?

It's been such a long time.
Guess I failed.
Not too important.


I started this dumb thing in the beginning of '06. There were a lot of changes going on then, and for some reason I thought that they were for the better. Of course they weren't. They never are. I remember being happy once early that year, genuinely happy. Meg told me my good mood was a pleasant change, and I told her I didn't know how long it was going to last. As things seemed to get better slightly on a day to day/week to week basis, I remember telling her that it was all gonna end with me getting struck down by a car and dying. Or struck by lightning. Or shot right outside of our apartment like everyone else that kept getting shot right outside of our door. Instead my good moods just turned to decay like usual and the rest of the year was far too draining and probably wrecked me forever. Who cares? Not you.

I had to delete a couple things here - too risky. Also, too many people tracking me down on myspace somehow to ask me how the cyst above my ass was and if I ever had surgery for it. It got annoying.

No one knows me - that is alright. But not really.
108,000 words later and it always ends the same. Of course. The bad thing is I feel like I no longer have anything relevant to write about. And save for the people who already have, no one else wants to read it. That is both their problem and my own.

2011, I hope you are better than 2010, 2009, 2008, 2007... etc. I am pretty sure 2003 and some of 2004 are the last ones that count as anything other than disappointing.
i need adventure. just like a young GG once sang.
Tell me how to successfully disassociate myself from everything and everyone again. I no longer wish to deal with this constant feeling of not being anywhere but wanting to be somewhere. It's wearing me down.